“Why can’t I just…?”
“Why can’t I just…?” - Part I
Have you ever said these words to yourself? Have you ever had something you really wanted to complete but were dreading actually doing the completing?
Why can’t I just…make a decision about my healthcare? …get the taxes done? …call that friend? …get the website up? …start writing that book? …clean out the garage once and for all?
What gets us past this why-can’t-I-just phase and into action? Or better—into joyful action?
There are so many reasons why we lag in our decisiveness: The project may not be fun and may take a lot of energy. The right healthcare costs too much money. The task requires a new skill and learning it feels daunting. And yet, we yearn to be on the other side of these projects and decisions, or at least, well on our way with them. What can we do do get into flow when we feel stymied?
If I may, I’d like tell you a quick story before we continue.
For a long time, I knew that meditation was like a prescription for me. I knew I needed it every day, but I just couldn’t commit to it on a daily basis and be consistent. I’d tell myself I didn’t have the time or the energy, or I’d forget I made the commitment to myself to sit in meditation that day. Part of me was afraid of the daily stillness. Another part of me had the idea that meditation was special, and that doing it every day would make it feel mundane. So years passed, and I was an inconsistent meditator who knew she needed to be meditating daily. I spent this time asking myself quite often, “Why can’t I just sit?”
Until one day, I thought to myself, “People always say “the research shows that meditation has all these benefits, and I’ve really taken that for granted. What exactly does the research show?”
It turns out, the research shows that in eight weeks of consistent meditation, ideally 45 minutes a day, the part of your brain responsible for fight/flight, stress, and anxiety (amygdala) diminishes. In eight weeks! As someone who has had significant experience with anxiety, this information was so inspiring and was just what I needed. In eight weeks, I could have a different brain. All of a sudden, daily meditation was not only something I had time for, it was easy, and I couldn’t have cared less if it stopped feeling special.
Why do I share this story?
Your inspiration and vision are key to committing to your choices when you have internal impulses working against you. I desperately wanted a new relationship to anxiety, and in eight weeks, I could have it. Sometimes you can find this inspiration, and it can be just that motivating.
Can you root down in any solid, emotion-evoking motivation or inspiration for the scenario that makes you feel stuck?
If yes: HIGH FIVE and go get ’em!
If no: If you can’t find this beam of solid inspiration, do me a favor. Take a few minutes to envision yourself with this decision made (you don’t have to make it, just envision yourself as “decided”) or task completed (you don’t yet have to know the "how,” just see yourself having it done). How does it feel? What does it mean for you? How does being on the other side of it perhaps align with your values? Think about it, see it, feel it—journal about it if you feel moved to—and meet me in the next Blog Post.
~L.
“Your inspiration and vision are key to committing to your choices…”